the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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