Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
