That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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