What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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