She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
