i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
