mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize