Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
