On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
