I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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