he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
