I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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