i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
