how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
