he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
