$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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