you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You left your phone here
Wait...
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