im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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