hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
