I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
