walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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