THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
