You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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