The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm gonna have a badass scar
My first STD was from a foam party
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
