I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize