That's intense
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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