I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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