farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
