HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
