in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
