no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
