friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
