dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
