you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
