So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
