my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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