I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize