Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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