So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
