i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
