I must be too annoying 4 u.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
