I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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