Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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