I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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