I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
