He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize