Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
