I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
