just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
