So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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