im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
