No, drunk sperm still make babies.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
