one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
