feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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