My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
