wat bout pragnant strippers??
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
