So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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