you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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