I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dicks are not precious.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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