Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
